December 09, 2009.

You will be embarrassed for everyone involved in making this movie.

Rating: 1
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, George Lucas was given a spark of genius which empowered him to write and direct such inspired classics as "Star Wars" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Then, for whatever reason, the charism was taken away in the mid 80s and the man has spent the ensuing decades churning out mostly rubbish. Not only has he embarrassed himself with horrific new conceptions like "Howard the Duck", but he has debased the quality of his successful franchises with sequels and "prequels" of positively shameful inferiority. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" is the nadir's of Lucas' artistic degeneration.

Unbelievably stupid, boring and utterly without charm or suspense, this movie disgusts as well as insults the viewer. Figuring (correctly) that the public will pay to watch Harrison Ford pick his nose so long as the film has the "Indiana Jones" title attached to it, Lucas tied half his brain behind his back and produced something of truly historic worthlessness.

Firstly, the inane storyline insults the viewer's intelligence. The "pre-Columbian" crystal skulls at the center of the plot are well known to be, in reality, 19th century European forgeries that were made to swindle gullible academics. That knowledge takes something away from the informed viewer's ability to suspend disbelief. What will be Indy's next adventure? Unlocking the secret powers of Barnum's Cardiff Giant? These action heroes like Ford and Bruce Willis also seem to get more ridiculously superhuman as they get older. I'm glad to find out that the phrase "nuke the fridge", referring to Indy's use of a refrigerator to survive a nuclear blast, has now replaced "jump the shark" to refer to TV shows and movie series that are so creatively depleted that they resort to the most moronic and implausible gimmicks to move their story along. Swinging from vines at the pace of a speeding automobile, riding rocket sleds and having anthropomorphic animals help the good guys are also great examples of the disrespect Lucas has for his audience.

Whatever remnant of possible enjoyment that could have been taken from the movie was ruined by the insipid, cartoonish and completely convoluted script, the groan-inducing clichés of 1950s culture, the smug, self-referential allusions, the irritating Shia LeBoeuf as Indy's love child, and the whole dopey idea of space (sorry- interspace) aliens sitting dormant in the middle of South America until someone returns their leader's head.

I really shouldn't have written this much about this horrible film, but I am seriously outraged at how a great movie franchise was ruined by its own creator. Someone should just give George Lucas some crayons to play with in his early dotage and keep him away from Hollywood.

December 08, 2009.

SOMETHING ONLY A TRUE FAN WILL LIKE.

Rating: 4
I heard that this movie sucked so I did'nt go to the theaters so I rented it and I liked it something that was different and new I would like to see them make another. but like I said only A true fan would like it like the new star wars movies episode three sucked but I still bought it so as a hard core fan I liked it nothing like the origanal.

December 08, 2009.

Speilberg lost his touch..

Rating: 1
What a terrible movie. I know that some movies are meant to be entertaining but this was a ridiculous movie. I liked Temple of Doom way better. The plot of this movie was horrible, see monkey scene to know what I mean. It would have been better off if he did not make a sequel and left the franchise untouched.

December 07, 2009.

Indiana Jones.

Rating: 5
Good DVD. I was glad I could order online since I live 30 minutes from the closest place to buy it and it is always cheeper on Amazon.

December 07, 2009.

Amy.

Rating: 4
My son loves this movie! He sits with his toy whip an runs around the house acting the scenes out. I of course don't think it quite lives up to the originals, but still a good movie.