December 12, 2008.

BUYER BEWARE: It's hard to tell which version has Mike Nelson comedy track..

Rating: 4
There seems to be some confusion at Amazon, they are posting the same customer reviews and descriptions for each of three versions of this movie. Since the front cover of the DVD doesn't have Mike Nelson's name on it, it's hard to tell which DVD has the Mike Nelson comedy tract. So the first DVD I bought was the wrong one and I returned it. I got it right the 2nd time, so I can tell you exactly which one to get, and unless Amazon stops posting the same reviews for all three versions, you may not want to get the version that you are looking at right now. There are versions published by Legend Films, Passport films, and a third company, I can't recall. But if you search for "plan 9 legend" it will take you to the Legend Films version. I have the 2006 release, which does have the Mike Nelson comedy track. There is also a 2008 release, and I would guess that has it, too, but I can't confirm that for you. The front cover of the DVD has five actors gathered around a scene of flying saucers and a grave yard. Also, because Amazon has their descriptions and comments all mixed up, they have the actors listed incorrectly. This version includes Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson and Vampira - each relevant in their own way to the fun that is watching this film. I hope you get the version you want and enjoy!

December 07, 2008.

Worst Movie ever!.

Rating: 1
Ok. Seriously when I say worst movie ever I mean it. Nothing could ever be made that is as bad as this movie and if I ever watch one I will officially lose my faith in everything.

But... Everone should watch this movie once. After watching this movie you realise that you will never, ever see a worse movie than this. You have hit the rock bottom and have no where else to go but up. I've seen it and I nwever have to watch this movie ever gain, nor will I. But I will let my friends borrow it, on the conditions that a) the movie gets back to me in one peice and b) they watch the whole movie. After seeing this everything looks better,

December 16, 2008.

Best worst movie I've ever seen.

Rating: 5
There's a reason this movie won the Turkey award more than once. It's so bad it's hysterical. It's definitely a must-see

December 04, 2008.

A classic bad movie.

Rating: 5
The phrase "worst movie ever" may be thrown around lightly in the world of film, but if you ask any given expert or film fan what the worst film ever made is, the chances are actually very good that they will mention Plan 9 From Outer Space. It is a movie that people talk about for a reason. Something this quotable or statistically loathed has to have something running for it, and it is true, this movie just might be the worst in existence. It probably isn't the funniest in terms of poor quality, or even the most obvious, but it is a classic horrible movie. Astoundingly horrible. Written by cult hero Ed Wood, the movie is about bureaucratic aliens raising a select few zombies from the earth in hopes to take over the world, or at least save it from making the universe explode (a controversy that at first seems interesting until the viewer realizes how grossly implausible and stupid it is). And I suppose this detail might fairly represent how down-to-business this movie is in terms of it's poor quality. From the getgo, people say stupid things, act poorly, and spot deliciously cheesy wobbling flying saucers in the sky. The magnitude of silly quotes in this movie is really uncountable. There was one good actor, Bela Lugosi, possibly the greatest hero of this entire genre. But he was given a part that held absolutely no significance to the movie and involved no dialog, the part of an old man who shortly after death was zombified by the aliens. At first this seems pretty awesome, because his specialty is bad movies. And in fact, he uses the same cape that he used in the original Dracula back in the day. But he died halfway through filming, and another extra was forced to wear the cape and hold it over his face, as if his part actually mattered or anything. Anyway, this movie definitely deserves it's title, and perhaps through the years of bad movies and endless questioning, it might still be the worst movie ever made. Ed Wood would accept no less.

December 19, 2008.

Solarbenite?.

Rating: 5
How could anyone not love this thing? After all, it has Bela Lugosi, Vampira, Chriswell and a cast of extraterrestrial queens. To top it off it was produced by the 'worst' director of all time, Ed Wood.

Of course it's terrible. If approached anything like cinematic quality it would have been bad. As it is, however, it's terrific, especially if you've knocked down three or four beers in advance. The sets are cheesy, the special effects a joke, the acting ridiculous and the jokes over the top. Aliens, the chief of whom is a total swish, are angry at earth people for not recognizing that they are real. They also believe that earthlings--despite the fact that we are incredibly stupid, juvenile idiots--are about to develop technologies that will destroy the Universe. Therefore, in an equal measure of pique and fear, they must destroy the human race. Not that they haven't tried it before..eight times before, to be exact...and have failed every time. Now they spring their ultimate plan--Plan 9--which is doomed to failure, also.

So how is it that earthlings might destroy the Universe. Read this carefully Al Gore. We are on the verge of discovering Solarbenite, which will ignite the sun's rays, set up a chain reaction, blow up the sun and then every planet in the Universe. Too complicated for you? Well, the aliens explain it in terms that the idiot earthlings can uncerstand. "Imagine a gas can and a ball. Pour the gas from the can in a line to the ball. Put a match to the ball. The ball is the earth and ignites burning back to the can, which is the sun. The sun explodes, blowing up all the planets and then, in a catastrophic chain reaction, every planet in the Universe." What a terrific alternative energy source. Why did it take Ed Woods to figure it out?

Anyway, the flying saucer extraterrestrials set out to destroy the human race by reanimating dead bodies buried in one particular graveyard. Vampira and Bela Lugosi, both recently deceased, are resurrected along with the murdered Chief of Police. These zombies then stumble around in the dark clumsily trying to murder people. Well, it all might have worked out just fine had not several of our earthling heroes not stumbled into a flying saucer than looks a lot like somebody's house. There's a fight, the saucer catches fire and, after our heroes make a quick departure, blows up while escaping into outer space. Therefore, and fortunately for the earth, Plan 9 is foiled. No doubt, however, there will be Plans 10 and 11 but unfortunately without Bela Lugosi. He died while filming this masterpiece, necessitating his replacement with a 'stunt' double.

Ron Braithwaite author of novels--"Skull Rack" and "Hummingbird God"--on the Spanish Conquest of Mexico