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I'll Be Home for Christmas

Actors: Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Jessica Biel, Adam LaVorgna, Gary Cole, Eve Gordon
ASIN : B00004Z1GR
Sales Rank : 1214
Director : Arlene Sanford
Studio : Walt Disney Video
Region Code : 1
Format : Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, DVD-Video, Widescreen, NTSC
Binding : DVD
EAN : 9780788826078
ISBN : 0788826077
UPC : 786936142884
Release Date : December 08, 2002
Publisher : Walt Disney Video
Manufacturer : Walt Disney Video
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : Walt Disney Video
Running Time : 86

Description

In the spirit of the season, Disney presents the hilarious comedy adventure that celebrates the believer in all of us. Jake Wilkinson (Jonathan Taylor Thomas), a self-centered college student, has one thing on his mind -- get home for Christmas dinner or forfeit the vintage Porsche his father promised him. Just days before his deadline, Jake awakens in the California desert -- stranded and penniless, wearing a Santa suit and white beard! Desperate to claim his gift, he flies, crawls, cons, races, bullies, and even sleighs his way east. But his nonstop mission turns into a nonstop comedy of errors as a multitude of colorful and offbeat strangers look to "Santa" for help and kindness. The closer Jake gets to home, the closer he gets to the true meaning of Christmas and the importance of family. I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS is a trip your entire family will enjoy taking all year long!

Amazon.com

Jonathan Taylor Thomas stars as Jake, a shallow huckster attending college in Los Angeles who finds troubles aplenty and, eventually, redemption on a road trip home in this youth-oriented Christmas vehicle. The action begins with Jake dumped in the desert dressed in full Kris Kringle regalia as payback for a scheme gone wrong, making Taylor Thomas the second Home Improvement cast member to don a Santa suit for film. (The first, of course, was his TV dad Tim Allen in The Santa Clause, for those of you who snoozed through recent Christmases.) With Jake stuck in the dunes, his stranded girlfriend (Jessica Biel from TV's Seventh Heaven) accepts a ride from his rival and thus begin the cross-country shenanigans that lead to a Christmas sleigh ride in their shared New York hometown. Look for Gary Cole (a.k.a. Mike Brady in the movie version of The Brady Bunch) playing another wise father. Although it may be hard for adults to buy the diminutive Taylor Thomas as a college student (and what's with the high school lockers at the so-called college?), Taylor Thomas and Biel have plenty of swoon appeal for young fans 10 and up. --Kimberly Heinrichs

The Great Muppet Caper - Kermit's 50th Anniversary Edition

Actors: Susan Backlinie, Robert Barnett, Erica Creer, Peter Falk, Della Finch
ASIN : B000ATQYTW
Sales Rank : 2857
Studio : Walt Disney Home Entertainment
Region Code : 1
Format : Closed-captioned, Color, DVD-Video, NTSC
Binding : DVD
EAN : 9780788860126
ISBN : 0788860127
UPC : 786936287820
Release Date : December 29, 2005
Publisher : Walt Disney Home Entertainment
Manufacturer : Walt Disney Home Entertainment
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : Walt Disney Home Entertainment
Running Time : 98

Description

Stop the presses! The crime of the century has occurred, and investigative reporters Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo are out to crack the case in this song-filled, star-studded extravaganza directed by the legendary Jim Henson. Our heroes arrive in London to interview Lady Holiday (Diana Rigg), a high-fashion designer whose priceless diamond necklace has just been stolen. But when Kermit mistakes lovely receptionist/would-be model Miss Piggy for her aristocratic employer, it's love at first sight. Unfortunately, Lady Holiday's scheming brother (Charles Grodin) is also wooing the sultry swine -- so he can frame her for another brazen jewel heist! Now it's up to Kermit and his Muppet pals to clear Piggy's name and catch the real culprits. Packed with music, remarkable production numbers, and hilarious cameo performances (including John Cleese, Peter Falk, Jack Warden, Robert Morley, and Peter Ustinov), this restored and remastered 50th Anniversary Edition of THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER is the wackiest story ever told! ~~(c) The Muppets Holding Company, LLC and BVHE. MUPPETS characters and elements are trademarks of The Muppets Holding Company. All Rights Reserved.~ ~~

Amazon.com

This second motion-picture outing for the adventurous Muppets finds them in London hunting down jewel thieves while staying at the city's most cheerfully derelict dive, the Happiness Hotel. Filled with song and dance (and swimming!) numbers, this Jim Henson-directed feature is worth seeing, if for nothing else than to see the cantankerous Charles Grodin (Beethoven) swoon over Miss Piggy. But The Great Muppet Caper has a lot more going for it: cameos by John Cleese, Peter Falk, and Oscar the Grouch, among others; Miss Piggy parading down a catwalk; and Kermit the Frog on a bicycle. The Muppets are fond of breaking down that pesky fourth wall, which gives the movie some of its cleverest moments and will elicit the biggest laughs from the kids. (Kermit to Miss Piggy: "You're overacting. You're hamming it up.") By the time a framed Miss Piggy is freed and the real jewel thieves are caught, you'll forget the occasional slow spots and remember the musical numbers and the banter. --Kimberly Heinrichs

Alice in Wonderland (Masterpiece Edition)

Actors: Kathryn Beaumont, Ed Wynn, Richard Haydn, Sterling Holloway, Jerry Colonna
ASIN : B0000TG9E2
Sales Rank : 2424
Director : Wilfred Jackson, Clyde Geronimi, Hamilton Luske
Studio : Walt Disney Home Video
Region Code : 1
Format : Subtitled, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby
Binding : DVD
EAN : 9780788850257
ISBN : 0788850253
UPC : 786936232301
Release Date : December 27, 2004
Publisher : Walt Disney Home Video
Manufacturer : Walt Disney Home Video
Label : Walt Disney Home Video
Running Time : 75

Description

Experience the magic, fun, and adventure of ALICE IN WONDERLAND like never before in this new Masterpiece Edition 2-Disc set. Join Alice as she falls into the madcap world of Wonderland and meets extraordinary characters such as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the Mad Hatter, the Queen of Hearts, and the frantically late White Rabbit. And the fun continues with new bonus features including the Virtual Wonderland Party, the newly discovered Cheshire Cat song "I'm Odd," Mickey's "Thru the Mirror" animated short, plus sing-along songs and all-new games. Your family will want to experience this timeless Disney masterpiece again and again!

Amazon.com

Imaginatively rendered but slightly chilly, this 1951 Disney adaptation of the Lewis Carroll classic is also appropriately surreal. Alice (voiced by Kathryn Beaumont) has all the anticipated experiences: shrinking and growing, meeting the White Rabbit, having tea with the Mad Hatter, etc. Characterization is very strong, and the Disney team worked hard to bring screen personality to Carroll's eccentric creations. For a Disney film, however, it seems more the self-satisfied sum of its inventiveness than a truly engaging experience. --Tom Keogh

Dinosaur

Actors: D.B. Sweeney, Alfre Woodard, Ossie Davis, Max Casella, Hayden Panettiere
ASIN : B000050MN3
Sales Rank : 1759
Director : Eric Leighton, Ralph Zondag
Studio : Walt Disney Video
Region Code : 1
Format : Anamorphic, Animated, Closed-captioned, Color, DVD-Video, Full Screen, Widescreen, NTSC
Binding : DVD
EAN : 9780788821189
ISBN : 0788821180
UPC : 717951008381
Release Date : December 30, 2001
Publisher : Walt Disney Video
Manufacturer : Walt Disney Video
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : Walt Disney Video
Running Time : 82

Description

Join the action-packed adventure of a group of dinosaurs overcoming enormous challenges through courage, loyalty, and hope in Disney's DINOSAUR, a special effects phenomenon! Set 65 million years ago, DINOSAUR tells the compelling story of an iguanodon named Aladar, who is separated from his own kind and raised by a clan of lemurs, including the wisecracking Zini and the compassionate Plio. When a devastating meteor shower plunges their world into chaos, Aladar and his family follow a herd of dinosaurs heading for the safety of the "nesting grounds." Along the way, Aladar befriends Baylene, the dignified, elderly brachiosaur with a take-no-prisoners attitude; Eema, the unstoppable styrachosaur; and Neera, a feisty fellow iguanodon. Together, they must stand strong amid food and water shortages, the threat of attacks by carnotaurs, and Aladar's run-ins with the herd's stubborn leader, Kron. As the trip becomes one pulse-quickening adventure after another, it also forges friendships that no hardship can destroy. A landmark in filmmaking technology, Disney's DINOSAUR is a breathtaking spectacle filled with adventure, fun, and life lessons that the whole family will love!

Amazon.com

Dinosaurs come alive like never before in this costly computer-animated film from Disney. After a breathtaking opening (a dino egg is kidnapped), the film changes style; realistic dinosaurs are given human characteristics and voices. The kidnapped egg grows into an iguanodon named Aladar (voiced by D.B. Sweeney), who is raised by lemurs (shades of Tarzan) on a lush island void of other dinosaurs. When a meteorite destroys their island home in a thrilling sequence, the lemur family and Aladar become part of a dinosaur troop roaming the mainland deserts looking for the lush nesting grounds (shades of the fourth installment of the Land Before Time series and Fantasia). Disney's usual mix of modern language (one lemur calls himself "a love monkey") is present, as is its typical capital punishment law: anyone against our forward-thinking hero (or even disagreeing with him) ends up dead. Curiously, the meanies, a pair of carnotaurs following the group, are nameless and voiceless. This more realistic approach might have been a bigger wow, as in the BBC's Walking with Dinosaurs, which looked extraordinary with only a fraction of the budget. The complexity and scope of Dinosaur's visual scale is impressive, and group shots and a point-of-view angle are stunning. Rated PG for general intensity, the film should be a favorite for the 6- to 11-year-old set. --Doug Thomas

College Road Trip

Actors: Michael Landes, Martin Lawrence, Adam Le Fevre, Donny Osmond, Arnetia Walker
ASIN : B0017TWV0U
Sales Rank : 1620
Director : Roger Kumble
Studio : Walt Disney Video
Region Code : 1
Format : AC-3, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD-Video, Full Screen, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC
Binding : DVD
EAN : 0786936764451
UPC : 786936764451
Release Date : December 15, 2008
Publisher : Walt Disney Video
Manufacturer : Walt Disney Video
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : Walt Disney Video
Running Time : 83

Album Description

COLLEGE ROAD TRIP stars Martin Lawrence as Chicago cop James Porter, an overprotective father who wants to keep his college-bound daughter, Melanie (Raven-Symone), close to home. When the smart, assertive Melanie declares her intention to attend Georgetown instead of Northwestern, James insistently sets out with her on a cross-country car journey to Washington D.C., hoping to dissuade her along the way. En route, of course, plenty of hijinks ensue, including scenarios involving a precocious pig and, oddly enough, Donny Osmond, who turns up as an eeriely cheery dad also on a college-touring campaign.

Amazon.com

Choosing a college and striking out on one's own is an exciting time that requires a big adjustment by both child and parent, but few parents will have as much difficulty relinquishing control over their daughter's life as Chicago police chief James Porter (Martin Lawrence). The ultimate in loving but overprotective fathers, James wants his daughter Melanie (Raven-Symoné) to attend nearby Northwestern College, so when she's waitlisted and called for an interview at Georgetown in Washington, D.C., James gets more than a little nervous. Squashing her plans for a road trip to D.C. with her girlfriends, James insists on a father-daughter expedition which he envisions being full of reminiscing, heart-to-heart conversations, and a healthy dose of persuasive promotion of Northwestern. The car trip definitely doesn't turn out as planned--instead it’s a trip rife with strained silences and festering conflict in which the police vehicle rolls down a wooded embankment, Melanie's little brother (Eshaya Draper) and pet pig stow away in the back of the truck, and the Porters inexplicably keep running into a syrupy sweet father (Donny Osmond) and college-bound-daughter (Molly Ephraim) whose close relationship, clean-cut enthusiasm, and willingness to befriend and help the Porters is downright unsettling. Absurdly funny scenes include the family pig crashing and demolishing a fancy outdoor wedding; James' party-loving mother (Arnetia Walker) scrambling to live up to her son's uptight image of her as a fragile, elderly woman; James breaking into a local sorority house and hiding under a bed in hopes of protecting Melanie's innocence, and James' and Melanie's unexpected skydive into Washington, D.C., in order to keep Melanie's interview appointment at Georgetown. In the end, James and Melanie both mature as a result of their road trip and are finally able to forge an emotionally healthy relationship with one another. (Ages 8 and older) --Tami Horiuchi

Baby Einstein - Numbers Nursery

Actor: Baby Einstein
ASIN : B0000BWVA3
Sales Rank : 3988
Director : Jim Janicek
Brand : Baby Einstein
Studio : Walt Disney Video
Region Code : 1
Format : Animated, Closed-captioned, Color, DVD-Video, NTSC
Binding : DVD
EAN : 0786936222265
UPC : 786936222265
Release Date : December 25, 2003
Publisher : Walt Disney Video
Manufacturer : Walt Disney Video
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : Walt Disney Video
Running Time : 30
Maximum Age : 60
Minimum Age : 12

Product Description

A playful and interactive introduction to numbers!
-- Exposes little ones to the concept of counting
-- Reinforces number recognition using simple patterns

Between 12 and 24 months, little ones become increasingly interested in more complex ideas and begin to explore numbers and counting. Numbers Nursery introduces little ones to numerals 1 through 5 in a captivating, interactive way that invites them to join in, clap their hands and count out loud. Using baby-friendly images of brightly colored toys, plus puppets, children and familiar real-world objects set to beautiful music, this dynamic program is a fun and age-appropriate way for you and your child to discover the exciting world of numbers and counting together!

DVD Features
-- Repeat play
-- Language tracks (Spanish, French and English)
-- Discovery cards - Count 1 to 10 in seven languages
-- Count-along activities
-- How many?
-- Story time with See and Spy Counting book
-- Toy chest

My Friends Tigger & Pooh - Super Sleuth Christmas Movie

Actor: My Friends Tigger & Pooh
ASIN : B000OPPAD8
Sales Rank : 2349
Studio : WALT DISNEY VIDEO
Region Code : 1
Format : AC-3, Animated, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD-Video, NTSC, Widescreen
Binding : DVD
EAN : 0786936727043
UPC : 786936727043
Release Date : December 20, 2007
Publisher : WALT DISNEY VIDEO
Manufacturer : WALT DISNEY VIDEO
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : WALT DISNEY VIDEO
Running Time : 44

Product Description

'Tis the season for a timeless tale of Christmas cheer! So grab your hat, put on your mittens, and join Tigger, Pooh, Darby and all your favorite friends from the 100-Acre Wood for this very merry movie filled with holiday magic and wonderful surprises.

Christmas comes tomorrow, and Pooh and his pals can hardly wait! But they might wind up waiting much longer than just one day when Santa s magic toy sack goes missing along with a little lost reindeer. Now it s up to the problem-solving "Super Sleuths" to work together and follow the clues to reach the North Pole in time to help Santa deliver his presents. Along the way, they ll meet new friends, make new discoveries and share in the true spirit of Christmas.

Overflowing with unforgettable songs and your favorite beloved characters, My Friends Tigger & Pooh: Super Sleuth Christmas Movie is fun the whole family will treasure.

Amazon.com

This 44-minute musical Christmas movie finds Pooh, Tigger, Darby, and the rest of everyone's favorite characters from the Hundred Acre Wood enjoying a busy Christmas Eve filled with Christmas preparations and dreams about what they hope to receive from Santa. When Roo and Lumpy discover a fancy red bag in the snow and then stumble upon a young reindeer named Holly caught in a thicket, they find out that the bag they've found is Santa's magical toy sack and that without it, Santa may have to cancel Christmas. When Holly is unable to remember which direction leads home, Roo and Lumpy sound the super sleuth siren and the whole gang sets off for the North Pole to return Santa's bag. Using their knowledge of the North Star to guide them, the hopeful group makes their way toward the North Pole, but finds the road difficult and full of danger. Can the group make it to Santa in time to save Christmas by working together? Will their individual Christmas wishes ever come true? Bonus features include two episodes about friendship and teamwork ("Symphony for Rabbit" and "Tigger Goes Snowflakey") and the "Hundred Acre Wood Downhill Game" in which players pretend to ski down a hill and then interactively match presents with their intended recipients. (Ages 2 and older) --Tami Horiuchi

Enchanted [Blu-ray]

Actor: Amy Adams
ASIN : B0011V9XSC
Sales Rank : 2547
Brand : Disney
Studio : WALT DISNEY VIDEO
Region Code : 1
Format : AC-3, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, Subtitled, Widescreen
Binding : Blu-ray
EAN : 0786936747171
UPC : 786936747171
Release Date : December 18, 2008
Publisher : WALT DISNEY VIDEO
Manufacturer : WALT DISNEY VIDEO
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : WALT DISNEY VIDEO
Running Time : 107

Product Description

Beautiful Princess Giselle is banished by an evil queen from her magical, musical animated land and finds herself in the gritty reality of the streets of modern day Manhattan. Shocked by this strange new environment that doesn t operate on a happily ever after basis, Giselle is now adrift in a chaotic world badly in need of enchantment. But when Giselle begins to fall in love with a charmingly flawed divorce lawyer who has come to her aid even though she is already promised to a perfect fairytale prince back home she has to wonder, can a storybook view of romance survive in the real world?

Amazon.com

Life is idyllic in the fairytale world where conflict is minimal and breaking into song solves every problem, but what happens when a princess from the fairy world gets magically transported into the real world? Enchanted begins in the animated fairytale world of Andalasia where Princess Giselle (Amy Adams) is destined to marry Prince Edward (James Marsden) and live happily ever after. Problem is, Edward's step-mother Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon) doesn't want to give up the throne and will do anything to get Giselle out of Edward's life. Queen Narissa's solution is to push Giselle into a well that magically lands Giselle smack in the middle of the real world--the center of Time Square in New York City, to be exact. This launches the live-action portion of the film where Giselle immediately realizes that things are frighteningly different in this new world and that she is ill-prepared for the callous ways of the people who inhabit it. Giselle finds herself alone on a stormy night in the wrong end of town, but a chance encounter with Robert (Patrick Dempsey) and his princess-loving daughter Morgan (Rachel Covey) leads to a warm, safe place to spend the night and the beginnings of a complicated, yet compelling relationship. As Giselle begins to question the fairy-tale truths she's always inherently believed, Robert's outlook on life and love also begins to change significantly. Parallels to the classic Disney fairytales, Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty abound in the form of a King's and Queen's ball, small animals and rodents who clean house when called, the threat of poisoned apples, characters impulsively breaking into song, and the power of the kiss of true love and the absurd juxtaposition of fairytale idealism and stark reality is hilariously funny. Features music by Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz of Pocahontas and The Hunchback of Notre Dame fame, Wicked's Broadway Elpheba Idina Menzel as Nancy, and even a brief appearance by former Princess voice talent Judy Kuhn (Pocahontas). Enchanted is one of the best, most entertaining Disney films of the year. (Ages 6 and older with parental guidance due to some scary images and mild innuendo) --Tami Horiuchi

On the DVD
The Blu-ray edition of Enchanted is packed with special features including the exclusive-to-Blu-ray "D-Files," which highlight the multitude of references to other classic Disney films with an interactive trivia game that's fun for all ages. Much more engaging than your typical pop-up facts, this feature punctuates the action in the film with interactive questions: Which classic Disney film inspired the soap bubble? The coach scenes? What Disney song inspired the "Happy Working Song?" Which Disney films feature evil stepmothers? Correct answers earn viewers bonus interview footage with director Kevin Lima, songwriter Alan Menken, lyricist Stephen Schwarz, stars Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey, and a host of others as well as side by side comparisons of scenes from classic Disney movies and Enchanted. Other bonus features include a 17-minute exploration of the technical issues involved in the three biggest scenes in the movie; highlighting the challenges of combining multiple disciplines like CGI, live-action, casting animals and children, visual effects, and the choreography of a huge variety of dancers, skaters, and stilt-walkers in one film and, often, in a single scene. The animated, pop-up adventure "Pip's Predicament" illustrates Pip's behind-the-scenes role in leading the Prince out of Andalasia into New York and is sure to captivate young children. Two minutes of bloopers, six deleted scenes, and the Carrie Underwood music video "Ever After" round out the special features. --Tami Horiuchi

Beyond Enchanted

Disney Princesses on DVD

Paperback

Soundtrack

Stills from Enchanted (click for larger image)

Darby O'Gill and the Little People

Actors: Albert Sharpe, Janet Munro, Sean Connery, Jimmy O'Dea, Kieron Moore
ASIN : B0001I55SI
Sales Rank : 2747
Director : Robert Stevenson
Studio : Walt Disney Video
Region Code : 1
Format : Color, DVD-Video, NTSC
Binding : DVD
EAN : 0786936233599
UPC : 786936233599
Release Date : December 03, 2004
Publisher : Walt Disney Video
Manufacturer : Walt Disney Video
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : Walt Disney Video
Running Time : 91

Description

Take a wee bit of ancient folklore, mix in some spectacular special effects and a magical cast (including Sean Connery) -- and you've got one of the most enchanting fantasies of all time! A frisky old storyteller named Darby O'Gill is desperately seeking the proverbial pot of gold. There's just one tiny thing standing in his way: a 21-inch leprechaun named King Brian. In order to get the gold, Darby must match his wits against the shrewd little trickster -- which proves no small task, indeed! Fall under the spell of DARBY O'GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE for a fun-filled evening of magic, mirth, and nonstop shenanigans!

Amazon.com

Purportedly one of Walt Disney's most personal pet projects, Darby O'Gill shows the effort and care put into it. Even now the special effects hold up shockingly well. Darby O'Gill is an estate caretaker, but in his advanced years he's more fond of telling tall tales in the local pub about the wee folk than keeping the grounds. A new man (a very youthful Sean Connery) is sent in to take his place, and O'Gill doesn't know what will become of himself and his daughter. He snags three spectacular opportunities, however, when he catches the king of the leprechauns. This film is whimsical without being silly, supernatural without being outlandish, and all and all a treat for the whole family. --Keith Simanton

Simon Birch

Actors: Ian Michael Smith, Joseph Mazzello, Ashley Judd, Oliver Platt, David Strathairn
ASIN : 0788815466
Sales Rank : 2060
Director : Mark Steven Johnson
Studio : Walt Disney Video
Region Code : 1
Format : Closed-captioned, Color, DVD-Video, Letterboxed, Widescreen, NTSC
Binding : DVD
EAN : 9780788815461
ISBN : 0788815466
UPC : 717951002358
Release Date : December 18, 1999
Publisher : Walt Disney Video
Manufacturer : Walt Disney Video
Availability : Usually ships in 24 hours
Label : Walt Disney Video
Running Time : 114

Description

A heartwarming and funny hit that's earned overwhelming critical acclaim, SIMON BIRCH features great performances from stars Ashley Judd (DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD, HIGH CRIMES, KISS THE GIRLS) and Oliver Platt (BICENTENNIAL MAN, DON'T SAY A WORD) in an outstanding cast! Even though Simon Birch is the smallest kid in town, deep down he knows that he was born to do something big! He's on a constant search to discover his destiny, but somehow manages to find nothing but trouble! Meanwhile, Simon's loyal best friend, Joe (Joseph Mazzello -- JURASSIC PARK, RADIO FLYER), is searching for the identity of his father, a secret his beautiful mother (Judd) has guarded Joe's entire life. Discover for yourself the undeniable charms of this uplifting and inspirational motion picture as these two share the hilarious, and sometimes tragic, ups and downs that will forever bind them together!

Amazon.com

This screen adaptation of John Irving's novel A Prayer for Owen Meany was appreciated much more by audiences than by the majority of disapproving critics. Irving's books have fared only moderately well on film, and while The World According to Garp garnered critical praise, The Hotel New Hampshire was waiting in the wings to counteract the fanfare. Simon Birch is one of those nostalgic movies--determined to view the past in rose-colored hues--despite the fact that its protagonist, a dwarf named Simon Birch, is wholeheartedly unsympathetic. The film opens weepily, with Jim Carrey as the adult version of the film's main character and narrator, Joe Wenteworth (played as a youth by the serious young actor Joseph Mazzello). He's mourning at the grave of his best childhood friend, Simon Birch, with whom he had bonded instantly because both were misfits--one a dwarf, the other illegitimate. The deck is stacked from the beginning, especially when the camera dwells on Joe's luscious mom, Rebecca (Ashley Judd), who refuses to reveal the identity of Joe's father, which in turn urges Simon and Joe to embark on a quest to discover Joe's paternity. In a plot point that resembles The Scarlet Letter, the tide of fate turns on the "immoral" mom just as she's on the verge of finding true love with a decent fellow (played by Oliver Platt). Simon Birch ultimately descends into crudeness, though it asks the audience to continue to engage with its crass lead character. By the end, the film is reduced to drivel, cliché, and melodrama to tug our heartstrings into submission. All the things that should have been the film's focus--guilt, self-loathing, and redemption--remain elusive. --Paula Nechak